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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of blackheath fun fair and other funny jokes |
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Easter Joke
How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? With a hare dryer!
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Irish Joke
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do Father. ' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall. ' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to got to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father, ' was the man's reply. 'Then stand over there against the wall, ' said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father. ' The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now. '
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Internet Joke
What happened when the schoool bully went netsurfing? The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.
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Bird Joke
Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !
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Short Joke
Seems about a year ago (1998) some airplane manufacturer employees decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's. They got it off the plane, out the gate and were having a good time fishing on the Stilliquamish. All of a sudden the Coast Guard Chopper came wop-wop-ing in, homing on the emergency frequency locator beacon that was activated when the boys inflated the raft at the river. (Note: The boys are no longer with said aircraft company. )
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Ouch Joke
Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband's penis. She was driving down the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to toss it out the window. The penis bounced off the windscreen of the car travelling in the opposite direction. 'Shit, ' said the driver to his passenger. 'What kind of bug was that?''Dunno, ' he replied. 'But did you see the size of the cock on it?!'
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Simple Joke
It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him. Arthur C. Clarke Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders? Friedrich Nietzsche God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Voltaire When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. Peter OToole
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Funny Kids Joke
Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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