|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of black fun jack online play and other funny jokes |
|
Kids Puns
Why do seagulls live by the sea?Because if they lived by the bay, they would be called baygulls!(baygull-bagel. ha ha ha. )
= = = = = = = = = =
Old Age Joke
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: Hell No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, just spread my old legs 'Take me, young man, take me!'
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!
= = = = = = = = = =
Miscellaneous Joke
2 people walk into a bar. The third one ducked.
= = = = = = = = = =
Fun Joke
A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: 'Ah, you're lovely, aren't you?' she says to the first dog. 'What's your name?' To her surprise, the dog actually answers her, 'My name's Huey, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles. 'Delighted with this discovery, she moves on to the next dog. 'And what's your name then?' Again, unbelievably, the 2nd dog answers her, 'My name's Lewy, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles. ' And so she moves on to the last dog. 'Let me guess, ' she says. 'your name's Dewy, and you've had a great day going in and out of puddles. ''No, ' replies the last dog. 'My name's Puddles, and I've had an awful day!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Bumper Stickers - 5
I've lost my phone number - can I have yours?
= = = = = = = = = =
Elderly People Joke
An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so theydecided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing waswrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor aboutthe problems they were having with their memory. After checking the coupleout, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want tostart writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. Thecouple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chairand his wife asked, 'Where are you going?' He replied, 'To the kitchen. ' She asked, 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' He replied, 'Sure. ' She then asked him, 'Don't you think you should write it down so you canremember it?' He said, 'No, I can remember that. ' She then said, 'Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. Youhad better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget that. ' He said, 'I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream withstrawberries. ' She replied, 'Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'llforget that so you'd better write it down. ' With irritation in his voice, he said, 'I don't need to write that down!I can remember that. ' He then went fuming into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her aplate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, 'You forgot my toast. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Situations Humor
Cop coming upon a young couple making out. . . . Cop: What the hell are you two doing?Boy: See honey, I told ya cops were stupid.
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnical Joke
Only in America. . . can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. . . Only in America. . . are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. . . Only in America. . . do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke. . . Only in America. . . do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. . . Only in America. . . do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage. . . Only in America. . . do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. . . Only in America. . . do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. . . Only in America. . . do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'blood-sucking creatures'. . .
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
