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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of black comedy shows and other funny jokes |
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Business Joke
Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing and he does the stealing.
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Bar Joke - 2
Two drunks are driving down the road drinking beer. All of a sudden they see a police car lights flashing in the rear view mirror. 'What are we going to do?' asks the drunk passenger. 'Don't worry, I know what to do. Peel the label off your bottle and stick it to your forehead. Let me do all the talking. 'They pull over and the cop gets out. 'May I see your license and your registration?' he asks. The guy gives him his license. 'Have you been drinking?' 'No officer. We haven't. ''Well, you were weaving back and forth. Are you sure you haven't had anything to drink?' The officer asked. 'I swear officer. I haven't had a sip. ''Well, why do you have beer labels on your foreheads?'The man answers, 'These aren't labels. We are alcoholics, and we're on the patch. '
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Weird Women Joke
'Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?' asked John'Yes, I will. ' Paula replied. 'Would you do it for one thousand?' he asked. 'Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you. 'she answered with a wink. 'How about a blowjob for $20?' responded John. 'Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?' Paula snapped, indignantly. 'That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the price!'
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I fish! Therefore, I lie.
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Office Humor
MR. SMITH got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and pretty. One day, while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room she said, 'Oh, Mr. Smith, did you know your barracks door is open?'He did not understand her remark, but later he happened to look down and saw his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling her in he asked, 'By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open did you also see a soldier standing at attention?'The secretary who was quite witty said, 'Why no Mr. Smith. All I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffle bags. '
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School Joke
What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples? A senior high school math problem.
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Dirty Joke
Q: What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? A: surname
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Dumb Blonde Joke
There are three 3rd Grade girls, a blonde, a brunnett, and a red-head. Q. Which one is the tallest?A. The blonde -- she is 18 years old!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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