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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of black comedy clubs and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Moira.
Moira, who?
Moira Easter Bunnies come to visit you.
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Strange Humor
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: 'Lead us not into temptation, ' she prayed, 'but deliver us some E-mail. Amen. 'And one particular four-year old prayed, 'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets. 'A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am. 'A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?' One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping. 'The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, & as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord & nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles & jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother & whispered, 'If he gets loose, will he hurt us?'Six-year old Angie & her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang & talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. 'You're not supposed to talk out loud in church. ' 'Why? Who's going to stop me?' Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church & said, 'See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers. 'A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, '5
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Spoof Joke
A wife complains, 'A wall clock almost killed my mother-in-law today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch. ' Her husband mumbled, 'Clock always was slow. '
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Aviation Joke
Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he'd have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. 'How come?, ' his nephew asked. 'My plane has been grounded, ' Brendan explained. 'Grounded?' the little boy said. 'I didn't know planes had parents. '
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Joke for Speeches
What's the difference between a womens track team and a tribe of pigmee's?The pigmee's are a bunch of cunning runts.
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Government Humor
What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?? An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.
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School Joke
What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A dead school bus!
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Computer Joke
Tech Support hotlines are not easy work, you get calls from all sorts of idiotic users that apparently can't read a manual, or lack common sense. Here is a transcript of just one such case: Caller 'Hello is this Packard Bell Tech support?' Tech: 'Yes how can I help you?' Caller: 'The cup holder on front of my computer broke off and it is still under warranty, how do I go about getting it fixed?'
Tech 'Excuse, you've stumped me. How did you get this cup holder, was it part of some promotion?' Caller 'It came with the computer, I don't know of any promotion. ' Tech 'Does it have any markings on it, any names, any symbols?' Caller 'Yes, it says 4X!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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