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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of birthday speech jokes and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 2
There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, 'Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!' After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, 'Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!' And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, 'Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!' The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, 'Wah. . . so expensive!' There upon, the driver yelled back, 'Meter, very fas t! Made in Japan!'
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Ouch Joke
A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. 'Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough, ' replied his friend. 'Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand. There was a cow nearby and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure enough there was the ball. I called out to the chick and said, 'Lady, does this look like yours?' And the bitch hit me in the neck with her driver!'
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Easy to Remember Joke
A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200. As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and began to wait for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt. One of his buddies said, 'That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly loosing your concentration, to pay your respects. ''Well, we were married for 25 years!'
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Easter Joke
Why did you drive the lawn mower over your Easter basket? I thought the plastic grass was growing too high!
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Accountant Joke
An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation. 'It was late at night'' says the pilot, 'Canberra was covered in fog and I lost my bearings. ' 'I'm sorry, ' says the auditor, 'but you'll have to bear the cost yourself. ' 'The cost of what?' asks the pilot. 'Of the bearings you lost. '
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Burger Joke
Which meatballs get a little tipsy on occasion? The POTTED ones!
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Halloween Joke
What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? An amoeboo!
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Elvis has left the planet.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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