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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of birthday jokes for women and other funny jokes |
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Weather Joke
Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes? The weatherman.
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Dog Joke - 2
What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up? A dog.
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Clinton Joke
Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House? A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.
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Criminal Joke
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community. . . . and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over. The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what go t me into prison in the first place.
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Politics Humor
Bumper sticker seen in Cambridge, Mass: 'Re-elect President Gore in 2000'
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Kids Puns
10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts stored in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is 'Bubba'. 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. AND the number 1 way to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer is. . . 1. The mouse is referred to as a 'critter'.
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Love and Marriage Joke
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
'What seems to be the problem?'
Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat speechless.
The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband,
'Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!'
The husband scratched his head and replied,
'I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays. '
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Law Enforcement Joke
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. 'Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. 'Yes, ' replied the murderer. 'Will you hold my hand?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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