|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of birthday jokes for seniors and other funny jokes |
|
Insect Joke
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ? Where in earth have you been !
= = = = = = = = = =
Dumb Blonde Joke
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
'Where did you get that?'
The pig replied,
'I won her in a raffle!
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnic Joke - 2
What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?A slap happy Jappy, with a crap happy pappy.
= = = = = = = = = =
Monster Joke
What's big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass? A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.
= = = = = = = = = =
Funny Famous Joke
From a little book called 'Disorder in the Court'. These are things that people actually said in court, word for word. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: This myasthenia gravis--does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?Q: How old is your son--the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, 'Where am I Cathy?' Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and500. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: and, before the accident? A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or a cult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes. Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir. Q: What did she say? A: What disco am I at?Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?Q: How many times have you committed suicide?Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, Sir. Q: And you took your new wifeQ: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p. m. . Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
= = = = = = = = = =
Computer Joke
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying 'NERDS NOT ALLOWED--ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!' He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver says he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to worry, the nerds are over-populating the Silicon Valley, and are in season now. You don't even need a license, he said. So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, 'What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season. ' 'Well, sure. ' said the patrolman, 'But you can't bait 'em. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Mouse Joke
What is small, furry and smells like bacon ? A hamster !
= = = = = = = = = =
Dog Joke - 1
A guy with a monster walks into a bar, but the guy behind the bar tells him that the monster will have to wait outside. So the guy ties up his monster and goes back inside. Shortly after a woman walks in and says, 'who owns the monster outside?' Feeling rather proud, the guy raised his hand, 'that's me, why?'. The lady said, ' well I'm sorry but my yorkshire terrier has just killed him. ' Shocked, the man says, ' how could a tiny dog kill my huge monster?'. The lady replied, 'she got stuck down his throat and choked him!'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
