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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of birthday humour and other funny jokes |
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Weather Joke
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. 'There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared, ' the weather report said. 'You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets. ' Ole said, 'Jeez, okay, ' and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, 'There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets. ' Again Ole replied, 'Jeez, okay, ' and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, 'There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the. . . ' and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Lena, 'Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?' Lena replied, 'Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today. '
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Funny Famous Joke
Some useful descriptions of people you may come into contact with from day to day. 1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. 3. A room temperature IQ. 4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together. 5. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on. 6. A prime candidate for natural de-selection. 7. Bright as Alaska in December. 8. During evolution, his ancestors were in the control group. 9. Fell out of the family tree. 10. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. 11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it. 12. He's so dense, the light bends around him. 13. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 14. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. 15. It's hard to believe that he beat '100
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College Humor
Ok there are two gay guys and two lesbians. They are on a race to LA. Which of the two will get there first?The Lesbians, because the gay guys are still getting their shit packed!
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Monster Joke
How did the world's tallest monster become short overnight? Someone stole all his money.
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Irish Joke
O'Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous children so that Mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to read. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but O'Toole kept sending him back up. At 10 o'clock the doorbell rang. It was the next door neighbor, Mrs. O'Brien. She asked if her son was there and O'Toole said no. Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted. 'I'm here Mom, but he won't let me go home. '
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Food and Drink Joke
At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'
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Joke for Holidays
What do you call a donkey with three legs?A wonkey!
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Argo ! Argo who ? Argo down the shops ! Kn
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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