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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of birthday card jokes and other funny jokes |
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College Humor
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop. 'Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?' says the bartender. 'Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!''Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house. 'So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down. 'If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?''I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!''Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?''Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said. . . . . . BAD DOG!'
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Cat Joke
Why do cats chase birds ? For a lark !
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School Joke
How do bees get to school ? By school buzz !
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Joke for Speeches
A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said, 'I would like a cheeseburger. ' The librarian replied, 'Shh! This is a library!' The blonde blushed. 'oh, sorry. . ' then she whispered, 'I would like a cheeseburger. '
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
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Heaven and hell Joke
Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4', dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone. The voice of the Devil was heard, 'Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!' And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair, and flies circled her. The voice of the Devil was heard, 'Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the re st of eternity in bed with this woman!' And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off. Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of . . . Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying: 'Cindy, you have sinned. '
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Law Enforcement Joke
The Boston taxi driver backed into the stationary fruit stall and within seconds he had a cop beside him. 'Name?' 'Brendan O'Connor. ' 'Same as mine. Where are you from?' 'County Cork. ' 'Same as me. . . . . . ' The policeman paused with his pen in the air. 'Hold on a moment and I'll come back and talk about the old county. I want to say something to this fella that ran into the back of your cab. '
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Heaven and hell Joke
A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, 'Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas. ' 'The gatekeeper replied, 'First of all, I'm not Saint Peter and second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you ?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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