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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bimbo jokes and other funny jokes |
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Mad Joke
Did you hear about the blonde coyote? She got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of her legs and was still stuck.
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Rabbit Joke
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from? Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older. Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now. Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
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Golf Joke
Peter was not feeling well, bad enough that his wife Sharon had to go and get the test results from the doctor.
'Now Sharon, I don't exactly know what is the problem is -- Peter may even die if he doesn't get the right treatment. The only thing is the right treatment is going to seem a little strange. Peter needs to golf as often as he has strength and you need to give him all the sex he can handle. ' Sharon nodded and left. When she got home, Peter was anxious to find out what his test results were.
'Well Sharon, what did Doctor have to say? Sharon looked him straight in the face. 'Your gonna die. '
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: 'I'll have a B and C. 'Bartender:'What is a B and C?'. Brunette: 'Bourbon and Coke. 'Redhead: 'And, I'll have a G and T. 'Bartender: 'What's a G and T?'Redhead: 'Gin and tonic. 'Blonde: 'I'll have a 15. 'Bartender: 'What's a 15?'Blonde: '7 and 7'
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Dirty Joke
Q: What's one thing everybody sees in a blonde? A: A dick.
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Travel Joke
Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family. Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn't want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled. Mrs. Mueller is first. 'What do you wish for yourself?' 'I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings. ' 'Okay, that shall be granted to you. ' Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows. Next it is Mueller's mother-in-law's turn. 'What do you wish for yourself?' 'I would like a pillow bound on my rear end and a pillow bound on my back before the lashings. ' 'Okay, that shall be granted to you. ' The mother-in-law receives her fifty lashes, but hardly feels the pain through the pillows. Then comes Mueller himself. 'What do you wish for yourself?' 'I have two wishes. Do you want to fulfill them for me?' 'Because you are a guest in our country, we want to fulfill your wishes for you, as long as they are reasonable. ' 'I would like 100 lashes instead of 50. ' The executioner is surprised, but recovers again right away and replies, 'Yes, that is a pious wish, it shall be granted to you. And what is your second wish?' 'I would like to have my mother-in-law bound to my back. '
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Accountant Joke
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, 'I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?' The owner replies, 'I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant. '
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Pig Joke
Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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