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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of big night out comedy club and other funny jokes |
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Election Joke
President Bush, Dan Quayle, Ross Perot, and Bill Clinton all traveled together to see the Wizard of Oz. Upon arrival, they were brought to see him.
First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, 'Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart'. So the Wizard said, 'So be it'.
Second was Dan Quayle. He told the Wizard, 'People think I'm unintelligent and have no common sense whatsoever. I want a brain. The Wizard said, 'So be it'.
Third to ask the Wizard was Ross Perot. 'People say I have no confidence, and I lack conviction. I wish to have some courage'. The Wizard granted this wish as well.
And then Bill Clinton approached the Wizard. The Wizard looked at him and said, 'Well, what do you want?' To which Clinton replied, 'I'm here for Dorothy!'
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Hair and bald Joke
What should you buy if your hair falls out ? A good vacuum cleaner !
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Letter Joke
Did you hear about the sister who wrote herself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived she didn't know who it was from.
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School Joke for Kids
A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and homely looking woman. 'Screw me or climb the ladder to success' she said. No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. 'Screw me or climb the ladder to success' she said. 'Well', thought the man, 'might as well carry on. On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was really hot. 'Screw me now or climb the ladder to success' she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, everything he could want. 'Screw me or climb the ladder to success' she flirted. Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his crotch. 'Who are you?' the man asked. 'Hello' said the ugly fat man said, 'my name's Cess!'
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School Joke
Should you have any questions during the exam, just raise your hand. This should cause enoughblood to flow to your brain to answer it yourself.
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Insect Joke
What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !
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Burger Joke
Can you name two burgers who are royalty? Sir Loin and Burger King!
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Witch Joke
What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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