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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of big fun warrington and other funny jokes |
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Vampire Joke
Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.
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Aviation Joke
Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor. 'Sir, ' the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. 'Did you see this terrible accident happen?' 'Yep. Sure did. ' The man muttered unconcernedly. 'Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?' 'Yep. ' 'Were there any survivors?' the agent gasped. 'Nope. They's all kilt straight o ut. ' The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. 'I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning. ' 'The President of the United States is dead?' The agent gulped in disbelief. 'Well, ' the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work. 'He kept a-saying he wasn't . . . but you know what a liar he is. '
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Computing Joke
NewsflashMicrosoft today announced that it will be changing its name to 'Moft' -- which will clear up space on user's hard disks. It is estimated that a typical Windows 95 installation contains about '2
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Insect Joke
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ? it has a blue light !
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Blonde Joke - 2
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk. When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1. 5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order. Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, 'I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1. 5 gallons?'Gloria said, 'I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath. 'Alan asked, 'Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?'Gloria replied, 'No, just up to my waist. '
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Just for Laughs Joke
Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?A: A watchdog!Q: Why do male deer need braces?A: Because they have 'buck teeth!'
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Blonde Joke - 1
A brunette walks into a bar and says, 'Gimme an M L. ' The bartender says, 'What's an M L?' The brunette says, 'A Miller Light. ' Another brunette walks in and says, 'Gimme a B L' The bartender says, 'What's a B L?' She says, 'Bud Light. ' A dumb blonde walks in and says, 'Gimme a 15. ' The bartender says, 'What's a fifteen?' The blonde says, '7&'7
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Kids Puns
Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is 'Huntin'. 4. The CPU has a gun rack mount. 3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 1. The mouse is referred to as a 'critter'.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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