|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of biblical nonsense and other funny jokes |
|
Funny Famous Joke
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class. The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, erased it and then proceeded with the day's lesson. Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word. Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words:'The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Vampire Joke
What is a vampire's favourite soup ? Scream of mushroom !
= = = = = = = = = =
Comedy Joke
'I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was -'You'll never find anyone like me again!'I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?''Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. ' 'A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too. ''Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait. ''Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?''My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim. '''In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?''I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache. ''A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. ''I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman. ''I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners. ''Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on. ' On what? On fire?''Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. ''If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. ''The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here!''
= = = = = = = = = =
Horse Joke
Mounting a horse is actually very easy if it is done properly. A rider can only mount a horse from one side because a horse only likes to be mounted from one side. The left side is right and the right side is wrong. You're right to be left and wrong to be right. If you mount from the front, you mount from the right, which is then the left because your right is its left, and the left the right, keeping in mind that the left is right and the right is wrong. Put your left to your right and step so your right is to the wrong and now your right is opposite its left and left the right. To right right is to the left and to right is wrong is to the right, but backwards, the right is right and the left is wrong only when your right is on its wrong, and the left is on its right. Switching right to left and left to right is wrong. Right is wrong and left is right only from the front or else the left is right and the right is wrong.
= = = = = = = = = =
Bar Joke - 2
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing. 'Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!''Oh dear! I'm very sorry. ' replied her friend 'What did you do?''Opened a can of peas instead!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Car and train Joke
Policeman: Why have you parked your bus here? Bus Driver: The sign says 'Bus Stop. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Gorilla Joke
What's black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc. ? A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!
= = = = = = = = = =
Aardvark Joke
What do you call an aardvark That's good at golf?
A paredvark!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
