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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of best wedding jokes and other funny jokes |
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Birthday Joke
Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What's the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you won't be empty-handed, will you!
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Weather Joke
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
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Mom and Dad Joke
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her 'no. ' The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, 'Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long. ' He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, 'There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out. ' The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, 'Ellen, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap. ' The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. 'I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen. . . ' The mother broke in, 'My little girl's name is Tammy. . . I'm Ellen. '
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Insect Joke
Who writes books for little bees ? Bee-trix Potter !
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Farming Joke
The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. 'Pa, the chickens got loose, ' the boy confessed sadly, 'but I managed to find all twelve of them. ''Well, you did real good, son, ' the farmer beamed. 'You left with seven. '
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Funny Famous Joke
From a document submitted and published in the Congressional Record on October '1
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Clean Joke
A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he seesSteven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, 'You Chinese peoplebombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here. ' The astonished Chinese man replied, 'It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese'. 'Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese your all the same, ' replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, 'You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship. ' Shocked, Spielberg replies, 'It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me. ' The Chinese man, replies, 'Iceberg, Spielberg, Carsberg, you're all the same. '
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Dead and dying Joke
What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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