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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of best rude jokes and other funny jokes |
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Various animal Joke
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo!
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Cat Joke
Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth.
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Poker and Gambling Joke
A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG ! He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG !
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice says: OPEN ! Ok, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins. The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO ! Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino. The deep voice says: ROULETTE ! So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief. The deep voice says: 27 ! He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stays at the 26. The deep voice says: SHIT !
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Baby Joke
Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven? Yes, That's right. Well, I don't blame God for chucking her out.
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Joke for Speeches
1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet. 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke. 3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge. 4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face. 5. Why do lesbians like to be reincarnated as whales? So they can have 10 foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads. 6. What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders. 7. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? A Lickalotapuss. 8. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung. 9. What do two lesbians do when they are having their periods? Fingerpaint. 10. What do lesbians call an open can of tuna? POTPOURRI. 11. What did the lesbian vampire say to her partner? See you next month. 12. Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake. 13. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn't have balls. 14. Do you know what drag is? It's when a man wears everything a lesbian won't. 15. What do you call lesbian twins? Lick-a-likes. 16. How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons. 17. What's the definition of confusion? Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market. 18. What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
A dingo-ling !
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Rabbit Joke
Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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