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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of best man speech one liners and other funny jokes |
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Telephone Joke
How that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring. Of course. What's your phone number ?
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Clinton Joke
Q: Who would become President of the U. S. A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!
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Cat Joke
Q: What kind of cats lay around the house? - A: Car-pets!
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Book title Joke
All Aboard! by Abel Seamann
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Insect Joke
What kind of bees hum and drop things ? A fumble bee !
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Joke for Speeches
Clinton was asked who was a better lover: Monica Lewinsky or Paula Jones. His response: Paula was good, but no cigar.
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Medicine Joke
A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. 'Oh, it was very disappointing, 'he said. 'I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. '
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Religion Joke
God created the mule, and told him, 'you will be Mule, workingconstantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered: 'To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20. ' And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him, 'you will hold vigilanceover the dwellings of Man, to him you will be his greatest companion. Youwill eat his table scraps and live for 25 years. 'And the dog responded, 'Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 10 years. ' And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, 'You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years. 'And the monkey responded, 'Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of theworld is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years. ' And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him, 'You are Man, the only rationalbeing that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to havemastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth andlive for 20 years. And the man responded, 'Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is toolittle. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 yearsthe dog refused, and the ten years the monkey rejected. ' And it was so. And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house andeating the leftovers after they empty the pantry then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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