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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of best man speech jokes and other funny jokes |
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American Joke
A Cheyenne guy went to Chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat at a thrift store. 'How much do you want for the rat' he asked. '$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it' said the shopkeeper. 'Just give me the rat,' the Cheyenne said, and then he left with it. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. As he walked further, more and more rats started chasing him. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him. So he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water. The Cheyenne then returned to the thrift store. 'Ahh' the china man said. 'Now you would like to hear the story?' 'No' said the Cheyenne, 'I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!'
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Stand Up Joke
SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of your employment contract. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays. VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacations at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. '1
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Doctor Joke
A woman was having a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So she called the doctor one morning and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her 'suffering. '
'Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras. '
'My goodness!' the woman exclaimed, 'it sounds like leasing a new sports car!'
'Humm,' the doctor murmured, 'too obvious, huh?'
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Police Joke
A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, 'What will you take. . . . 30 days or $30. ' The man replied, 'I think I'll take the money. '
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Joke for Kids
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, 'Would you like to dance?'The girl says, 'I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you!'The guy says, 'I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!'
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Bumper Stickers - 7
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.
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At Work Joke
Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to pile lots ofdocuments on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. . Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.
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Cop Joke
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many. Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, 'SPEED TRAP AHEAD'. The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted 'TIPS' and a bucket of change.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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