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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of best man one liners and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
In theory, everything works.
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Pig Joke
FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you? SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
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Law Joke
It seems that there's a fence between Heaven and Hell, which is cared for in alternate aeons by the two sides. It has fallen into disrepair.
St. Peter seeks out Lucifer.
'Hey Lou, it's your turn to fix the fence. The Boss says it looks awful. Get it done. '
'I don't care how it looks,' says Lucifer. 'I'm not doing anything. '
'You have to,' says St. Peter. 'It's your official obligation. We have a contract to that effect. You're committed. '
'I don't give a fig for any contract,' says Lucifer, 'as you should know by now, I don't care what it says -- I'm not going to do anything. '
'You have to,' insists St. Peter. 'The law is the law. If you force us to, we'll have to sue you. '
'Sue me?' cries Lucifer, breaking into that famous nasty laugh, 'Where are YOU gonna get a lawyer?'
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Face Joke
Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard.
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Assorted Joke
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Jew, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, 'Is this some kind of joke?'
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Joke of the Day
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying 'I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork. . . Have you actually ever tasted it?The Rabbi said, 'I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion. 'Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, 'Your religion, too. . . I know you're supposed to be celibate. But. . . . 'The priest replied, 'Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice. 'There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, 'Better than pork, isn't it?'
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Joke for Halloween
What is the thinnest book in the world?What men know about women.
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Free Adult Joke
This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, 'Am I my brother's son?'Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: 'Tee hee, Brutus. 'Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head. Queen Elizabeth was the 'Virgin Queen. ' As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted, 'hurrah. 'It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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