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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of best jewish jokes and other funny jokes |
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Food Joke
Sign in restaurant window: 'Eat now - Pay waiter. '
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 170. One to send the Never Fail Novena to the Cheektowaga Times for publication so St. Jude may grant the lightbulb request, one to say the Last Rites for the old lightbulb, ten volunteer firemen to break into the house and smash the old light bulb to bits, fifty to protest the abortion of the old lightbulb, ten to organize a lawn fete and spaghetti dinner at Our Most Holy Precious Blood of the Seventeen Martyred Saints R. C. Church to raise funds to buy a new light bulb (and the Monsignor a new pair of bowling shoes as a gift on St. Stanislaus Day), twenty from Chiavettas Catering to serve the food, twenty to run the Monte Carlo gambling tent, fifty to run everything else, one to go to Koplinskis Appliances to buy the light bulb, one to screw it in, five to say the Rosary as the bulb is being screwed in, and the Monsignor to bless it.
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Military Joke
Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. 'My sergeants are wonderful', said one soldier. 'I wish I could say the same about mine, ' said the other. 'You could if you could lie as I do. '
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Journalist Joke
A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks: 'You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?' The old man replies, 'I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth. ' The journalist is amazed. 'How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?' she asks. The old man looks at her sadly. 'Like I'm talking to a wall. '
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Bumper Stickers - 1
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
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Relationships Joke
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. 'Yes, please' she replied. 'Tell him Mother didn't come after all. '
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American Joke
One day 3 men were walking across this bridge; an American, a
Canadian, and a Frenchie. When they got to the middle of the
bridge, the Frenchie stopped, pulled a bottle of wine out of his
pack, and threw it over the bridge. The Canadian & the American
both yelled out 'What the hell did you do that for?' The
Frenchie just shrugged and said 'We've got too much of that in
our country' The American, catching the Frencies drift, pulled
out a pack of ciggaretes and threw them over the bridge. The
Canadian and the Frenchie both yelled out, 'What the hell did
you do that for?' The american shrugged and said 'We have too
many of those in our country'
Now, the Canadian thought for a long time, and finnaly, he
picked up the Frenchie and threw him into the water. The
American looked at him in dis belief and said 'Why in gods name
did you do that?' and the Canadian replied, 'We've got too many
of those in our country. '
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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