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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of benidorm comedy and other funny jokes |
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Mad Joke
In the middle of his honeymoon, the young hillbilly bridegroom left his bride back at the hotel and shows up at his parents house completely distraught. His father asks him, 'Son, why you not with you bride on you honeymoon?'The boy replies, 'Daddy I was jus' gettin ready to love my bride when she tell me she want me to know she a virgin. So I come to ask what do I do?'The father says, 'Boy don' be tellin me you don' know what do wid a womin, specially a virgin. . 'The boy says, 'Daddy, course I knows what to do wid a woman, but dis be ma wife. ' The father replies, 'So what difference dis make?' To which the son says, 'Well daddy, I jus got to figure if she ain't good nuff for her own family she shore ain't good enough for ours!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Arnie ! Arnie who ! Arnie having fun ?
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Food Joke
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. 'Good heavens, ' he said, 'what is this?''Why, it's bean soup, ' she replied. 'I don't care what it has been, ' he sputtered. 'What is it now?'
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Just for Laughs Joke
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, 'Have you ever been a salesman before?''Yes, I was a salesman in the country' said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, 'You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up. 'The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, 'How many sales did you make today?'. 'One, ' said the young salesman. 'Only one, ' blurted the boss, 'Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?''Three hundred thousand dollars, ' said the young man. 'How did you manage that?' asked the flabbergasted boss. 'Well, ' said the salesman, 'this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser. 'The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, 'You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?''No, ' answered the salesman, 'He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing. ''
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Insect Joke
What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee? A humdinger.
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, 'Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one. ' The brunette says, 'I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home. ' POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, 'I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too. ' POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, 'My dear, what's the matter?' The blonde whimpers, 'I wish my friends were still here. '
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Naughty Joke
Husband: Want a quickie?Wife: As opposed to what?
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School Joke for Kids
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that. . . . . . . she called me to get my phone number. she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate. ' she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. she tried to put MandM's in alphabetical order. she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. she tried to drown a fish. she thought a quarterback was a refund. she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. she tripped over a cordless phone. she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. she studied for a blood test. she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said 'Airport Left' she turned around and went home
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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