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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bathtime fun and other funny jokes |
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Government Humor
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? . . . Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.
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Religious Joke
What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A nun rolling down a hill.
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Weirdest Joke
The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:'Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude. . . ?'After a confused silence, little Johnny volunteered -'I guess you'd be eating alone!'
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Totally Strange Humor
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
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Christmas Joke - 1
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, 'Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?'The kid says, 'Yeah. 'The cop says, 'Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike. 'The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20. 00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, 'By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?'Humoring the kid, the cop says, 'Yeah, he sure did. 'The kid says, 'Well, next year tell Santa to put the stupidity in the horse's brain instead of on his back. '
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Redneck Joke
A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. Well, when the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer. When the doctor came in, the man said, 'Look Doc, this is my first exam. . . I know what the K-Y is for. . . and I know what the glove is for. . . but what's the BEER for?' At this instant, the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, 'Come on, nurse!!!. . . I said a BUTT LIGHT!!!'
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Camping Joke
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, 'Are there any gators around here?!' 'Naw, ' the man hollered back, 'they ain't been around for years!' 'Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, 'How'd you get rid of the gators?' 'We didn't do nothin
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Law Joke
An Amish man named Samuel was injured when he and his horse were struck by a car at an intersection. Samuel sued the driver of the car. In court, he was cross-examined by the driver's lawyer:
Lawyer: Samuel, you've told us all about your injuries. However, according to the accident report, you told the investigating officer at the scene that you weren't injured at all, isn't that true?'
Samuel: Well . . . let me explain.
Lawyer: Go right ahead (thinking he now had the plaintiff on the ropes). Please tell the jury.
Samuel: When the officer arrived at the scene, he first looked upon my fallen horse. Finding him injured, the officer said to me, 'Looks like he has a broken leg,' and then he took out his weapon and shot my horse dead. The officer next looked upon me and asked how I was doing. Suffering from the same injury as my horse, I of course immediately replied, 'I'm OK!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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