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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bath comedy and other funny jokes |
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Old People Joke
OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribblingOLD BEEKEEPERS never die, they just buzz offOLD BIKERS never die, but they're hard on tiresOLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment awayOLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye awayOLD BOOKKEEPERS never die, they just lose their figuresOLD BOOKS never die, they just go out-of-printOLD BOWLERS never die, they just end up in the gutterOLD BRAKES never die, they just grind downOLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just lose their finesseOLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just sit around on their fat acesOLD BUDGETS never die, they are fillibusteredOLD BUREAUCRATS never die, they just waste awayOLD BURGLARS never die, they just steal awayOLD BUSINESSES never die, they just get consolidated
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Women Joke
Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
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Zodiac Joke
Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.
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Men Joke
How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus?At the circus the clowns don't talk. . .
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Music Joke
Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
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Law Joke
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, 'you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker'.
The man quickly responds, 'the attorney's'.
The doctor says, 'Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?'
The man says, 'I already know enough. We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!'
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Funny School Kids Joke
Did you hear about the millionnaire who had a bad accident?
He fell off his wallet.
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Red Indian Joke
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out, 'What was all that about?'He replied, 'Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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