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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bar jokes one liners and other funny jokes |
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Political Joke
Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jonestown.
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Cow Joke
What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer? A woolly bully!
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Dog Joke - 1
What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ? That hit the spots !
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Clinton Joke
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. 'There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year. ' Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: 'Will I be acquitted?'
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Computer Joke
This computer you charged me L950 for doesn't work. . . . and you said it would be trouble free. It is, I charged you L950 for the computer, but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!
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Blonde Joke - 1
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, 'Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!' She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, 'If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?' The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, '157. ' The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. 'If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?'
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Cop Joke
Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. 'Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called 'Happy Hour' and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guinness - couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later . . ' And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection. The officer sighed, and said, 'Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test. 'Indignantly, the man said, 'Why? Don't ye believe me?!'
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Dumb Joke
1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit. 2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth. 3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag. 4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face. 5. Passionate kiss like spider web-lead to undoing of fly. 6. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day. 7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night. 8. Virginity like balloon-one prick, all gone. 9. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town. 10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew. 11. Baseball all wrong-man with four balls can't walk. 12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement. 13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. 14. Man with penis in peanut butter is f***ing nuts. 15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok. 16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time. 17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent. 18. Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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