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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bamboo fun tablet and other funny jokes |
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?The back of her head.
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Politics Humor
A hundred prostitutes in Washington D. C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'
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Celebrities Joke
Frank Sinatra, 'Old Blue Eyes, ' has died. Frank will now be known as 'Old Closed Eyes. '
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Accountant Joke
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day's work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: 'Debits in the column toward t he file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. '
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Situations Humor
A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor wereshipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconuttree and yelled, 'Stop making love down there!' 'What's the matter with you?' the husband said when the sailor climbeddown. 'We weren't making love. ''Sorry, ' said the sailor, 'From up there it looked like you were. 'Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled thesame thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see forhimself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husbandsays to himself, 'By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're makinglove down there!'
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Weather Joke
The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. 'I just got some news, Mom, ' he said. 'The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?' 'What do I think?' his mother said. 'Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!'
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Village Idiot Joke
Wuz de night befo CrismusAn all ober de hoodEverybody wuz sleepin'Day wuz sleepin' good. Everbody wuz sleepin'all tight in they bedsWhilst Thunderbird WineDanced in they headsI was passed out on de floRight next to my MaWhen I heard such a fussI thinked 'It must be de law!!'I looked out tru de barzdat covered my doSpectin' de sherifwith a warrant fo sho!Now ober de yearsSanny Claws, he be white. But it lookin' like us brosgot a black Sanny dis nightNow what I did seemade me say 'LAWD Lood at dat!'It was a huge watermellon cadipulled by dwarf ratsFaster than a po-lice carTrue de air he camean whupped up on dem warf ratsan called emm by name. On Leroy, on Kendrick, On Jontarious Lee, on FalaciousThey was a sight to seeHe didn't go down no chimbly-just picked de lock on my do'An I says to myself-'Shit! He done did befo'!'He had a big sackfull of presents I spectWith Air Jordans and Fake Goldto go 'round my neck. But he didn't leave any presents-just started steelin' my shitHe got my drugs, my stoled gunsan even my burglars kit!With his sack on his backOut de winder he flewI sho woulda catched 'em, but he stole my knife too!He jumped on dat watermelon cadiand pulled out a switchHe was gone in a seconddat son-of-a-bitchI sho hope nex yeara white Sanny we git'Cause de black Sanny Clawsjus' ain't wuf a shit!!
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Dirty Joke
Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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