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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of backyard comedy club and other funny jokes |
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American Joke
A battle weary American soldier boarded a crowded train in in London during the early days of post-WWII, only to discover he was unable to find a place to sit. As he walked the length of the train, he noticed a small white dog curled up on one of the seats. A large, well dressed woman sat in the seat next to the dog. The man hovered near the seat, hoping the woman would take the hint, but she pointedly ignored him.
'Excuse me, Ma'am,' the soldier finally spoke, 'Is this your dog? Would you mind holding it on your lap so that I may sit down?'
The woman raised her icy gaze to the young man and said in a haughty British accent, 'oh! You Americans. You are so rude. Fluffy is in that seat, and i see no reason why she should give up her comfort for you. '
The exhausted soldier nodded, picked up the small dog . . . leaned over . . . opened the window of the moving train and tossed the dog out. The woman gaped and spluttered in horrified indignation, and the man sitting across from her lowered his newspaper.
'You Americans', he said, 'You drive on the wrong side of the road . . . you eat with the wrong fork . . . and you just threw the wrong bitch out the window. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Blood ! Blood who ? Blood brothers !
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Horse Joke
Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!
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History Joke
Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Part I: How do you keep a blond(e) busy? Give him/her a bag of M&Ms and ask her to alphabetize them. Part II: Why does that work? 'Does 3 come before E or between M and W?'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Cannelloni ! Cannelloni who ? Cannelloni some money till next week ?
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Love and Marriage Joke
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar loudly.
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the front. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears himself by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, 'I was being the Ring Bear. '
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Religion Joke
What is white and streaks across the sky? The coming of the Lord.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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