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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of baby blue comedy club and other funny jokes |
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Computer Joke
Want to buy a pocket computer? No, thanks, I already know how many pockets I've got.
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Idiot and fool Joke
There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig. The other would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them. He said to the hole digger, 'I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!' The hole digger replied, 'Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today. '
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Joke for Kids
The minister was presenting his Sunday morning service to the congregation. He stated that everything that mankind had experienced or would ever experience was discussed or mentioned in the Bible. After the sermon, he was shaking hands with the congregation as they filed out of the church. A woman came up to the minister and said, 'Preacher, I heard your message today and I really believe that what you said is true. However in my readings of the Scripture, I have never seen any mention of PMS. 'The minister scratched his head. . . . thought for a moment and said, 'Well sister just off the top of my head I cannot think of a passage but I'm sure that it exists. See me after next week's service and I will give you an answer. 'The next Sunday as the preacher was again shaking the hands of the leaving congregation the woman again came up to him and asked if he had in fact gotten her an answer. The preacher said, 'Yes my dear, that passage does in fact exist. ' She said, 'Well please tell me where PMS is mentioned in the Bible. I've read it many, many times and I have never seen it mentioned at all. 'Preacher says, 'Its right in the book of Matthew. ' She said, 'No way, I've read that several times and its not mentioned at all!'He said , 'It certaintly is, if you remember in the Christmas story, it states very specifically. . . that Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!
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Assorted Joke
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, 'Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large. 'Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, 'We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows. 'The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, 'And what are those?'The Aussie, fed up with the Texan's bragging replies with an incredulous look, 'What, don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?'
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What do you get when a blond stands on here head?A: A smelly burnette. Sent by Tiffany
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Medicine Joke
A doctor fell into a well once. He learned to tend to the sick and leave the well alone.
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College Humor
One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked -'George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?''Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did, ' advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. 'Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?' Clinton asked. 'Cut taxes and reduce the size of government, ' advised Tom. Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. 'Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?' Clinton asked. And Abe replied. . . 'Go to the theater!'
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking ? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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