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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of awesome knock knock jokes and other funny jokes |
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Gender Joke
How do men define a 50/50 relationship?We cook/they eat we clean/they dirty we iron/they wrinkle!
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Religion Joke
One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn't, since it was Sunday. But hefigured, well, it's ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it toJesus. However, Jesus didn't do anything when hetold him. 'Aren't you going to punish him?' he asked Jesus. 'Yes, just wait. ' he replied. Just then the pope hit a beautiful hole in one. 'Well, that's not a punishment!' the angel said in disgust. 'Who is he going to tell?'
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Doctor and nurse Joke
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. 'Step aside, lady, ' he barked. 'I've taken a course in first aid. ' The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. 'Pardon me, ' she said. 'But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm right here. '
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Weirdest Joke
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read: 'Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband' When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: 'Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up. '
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Elephant Joke
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !
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Bar Joke - 1
A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she's crying. Her boyfriend asks her what happend. 'As I was leaving the bathroom, a big guy at the pool table said he wanted to kiss my breasts all night long'!The boyfriend stood up from his stool and takes off his jacket. 'He also said he wants to screw me all night long'!! By this time the boyfriend is furious and starts walking to the pool table. 'He said he wants to drink beer from my pussy all night'!!! The boyfriend stops, turns around, sits back up on his stool and grabs his beer. His girlfriend is stunned, and asks why he wasn't doing anything about the jerk at the pool table. The boyfriend says 'I'm sorry Honey, - but I'm not messing around with a guy that can drink that much beer'!
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Best Joke Online
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?A: Tits Go In Front.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
It's with great sadness that I tell you my blonde girlfriend burned her nose last night. . . .
she was bobbing for french fries. . .
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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