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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of attention deficit disorder jokes and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Argue.
Argue who?
Argue going to let me in or not???
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School Joke
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
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Funny College Joke
Your momma so nasty she charges $10 for sex, gives ya lice, when ya comeback to complain she says - 'For $10 what do ya expect, lobster?
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Animal Joke
An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, 'Sir, what's that on your shoulder?'The old farmer said, 'That's my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes. ''I'm sorry sir. ', said the ticket agent, 'We don't allow animals in the theater. 'The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie. 'Marge', whispered Mildred. 'What', said Marge. 'I think this guy next to me is a pervert. ', said Mildred. 'What makes you think that', asked Marge. 'He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out', whispered Mildred. 'Well, don't worry about it', said Marge, 'At our age we've seen them all. ''I thought so', said Mildred, 'But this one is eating my popcorn. '
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Beauty Joke
Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world What was I wearing ?
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Funny Kids Joke
An irate woman burst into a baker's shop and said. 'I sent my son in for two pounds of buscuits this morning but when I weighed them there was only one pound. '
The baker looked at her 'And?' he said.
'Well,' said the woman 'I suugest you check your scales. '
'Madame, I suggest you weigh your son. '
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Practical Joke
How to tell when you are spending too much time with your computer:You start introducing yourself as 'lord at pacbell dot net'Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks likeYou check your mail. It says 'no new messages'. So you check it againYour phone bill is delivered in a boxYou name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and DotcomAll of your friends have an @ in their namesYou tell the cab driver you live at http://123. elm. street/house/bluetrim. htmlYou tell the kids they can't use the computer because 'Daddy's got work to do' and you don't have a job. You get a tattoo that says 'This body best viewed with Netscape3. 01'You never have to deal with the busy signals because you never log offYou ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toiletYou start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile :)Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install another phone line so that the two of you can chatAs your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the 'back' buttonYour computer goes down, you haven't logged in for two hours. You start to tremble. You pick up the phone and dial your Internet access number. You try to mimic computer noise in order to connect.
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Practical Joke
Tombstone Epitaph Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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