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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of asmarino comedy and other funny jokes |
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Satire Joke
A student had spent all his money, so he called his mother from college and asked if she could send him some. 'Of course, I'll send you some money, dear, ' Mom said. 'By the way, you left your calculus book here when you visited last month. Would you like me to send that to you too?' 'Ummmmm, oh yeah, OK Mom, ' the boy replied. So, Mom wrapped the book, together with the checks, kissed Dad goodbye and went to the post office to mail the parcel. When she returned, Dad asked, 'So, how much did you send him this time?' 'I wrote two checks, one for $'20
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Elephant Joke
What is worse than raining cats and dogs ? Raining elephants !
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Bumper Stickers - 1
My karma ran over my dogma
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
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Joke Online
A student comes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. 'I would do anything to pass this exam. ' She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. 'I mean. . ' she whispers, '. . I would do ANYTHING!!' He returns her gaze. 'Anything??' 'Yes, . . Anything!' She says. His voice turns to a whisper. 'Would you. . study??'
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Stand Up Joke
This couple just got married and was spending their honeymoon at a secluded campgrounds next to a small lake. Every day the new bridegroom was seen in a boat on the lake fishing. Two old timers who was always setting on the dock thought it kinda funny that the groom was spending all his time on the lake. Well, their curiosity got the best of them and they confronted him when he came in for lunch. The first old man said, ' Son when I first got married me and my wife spent every day of our honeymoon in bed. . . well you know!'The new groom said, 'well, normally that's what I would do, But she. . . well, she's got gonorrhea. ' The second old man said, ' well son haven't you ever heard about oral sex? everybody's doing it these days. ' The groom says, 'yes I have heard about that, but she also has pyorrhea. 'The first old man looks at the second old man, and they both nod to each other and offered this advice. 'Sonny, in times like this you just might want to roll her over. 'The groom says ' I know all about that too, but she's got diarrhea. ' The two old men look at each other and at the same time they say, 'Daggone Sonny. . . gonorrhea, pyorrhea, diarrhea, what the hell did ya marry her for?!'He said 'Well she's also got worms, . . . And I dooo looove to Fish!!
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains. 'How much does it cost for engineer brain?''Three dollars an ounce. ''How much does it cost for programmer brain?''Four dollars an ounce. ''How much for lawyer brain?''$'1
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Idiot and fool Joke
Calvin went to Pearson's Pet Shop to complain that his canary wouldn't sing. 'File the beak just a little, ' said the owner, 'and the bird will sing. But if you file it too much, the canary will die. ' Two weeks later Pearson ran into Calvin on the street and asked about his canary. 'He died, ' said Calvin. 'But I told you not to file the beak too much. ' 'I didn't, ' explained Calvin, 'but by the time I got him out of the vise, he was already dead. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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