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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of ashanti rock wit you and other funny jokes |
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Romance Joke
What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common? They are four ways you can lose your house!
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Religion Joke
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
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Bar Joke - 1
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers. 'Are you Mr. Johnson?' the asked? He admitted that he was. 'Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?' Again, the man admitted that was he. 'And what did you do then, ' the troopers asked. ' The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed. 'Where is your car now?' the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage. 'May we see the car?' asked the troopers. The man answered, 'Sure, ' and opened the garage. Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
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Marriage Joke
The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.
They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, 'After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy. '
Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, 'Well, I hope you'll love the third one just as if it's your own. '
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Been There - Shit Happened
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Bar Joke - 1
A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk 'do you live here?' 'Yep'. 'Would you like me to help you upstairs?' 'Yep'. When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked 'Is this your floor?' 'Yep'. Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk 'Do you live here?' 'Yep'. 'Would you like me to help you upstairs?' 'Yep'. So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs. Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried 'Please officer, protect me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!'
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Joke for Speeches
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of '3
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Situations Humor
A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a costume. Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor. 'What the hell happened?' asked a friend who had witnessed the entire event. 'I'm not really sure. ' the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. 'When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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