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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of around we go tropical fun activity station and other funny jokes |
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Joke Online
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I amI don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and SpamI don't brag to my buddies about my erectionsI won't drive to Hell before I ask for directionsI don't get wasted at parties and act like a clownand I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your buttmy belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gutand I don't go around 'readjusting' my crotchor yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notchI don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behindI'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind!I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could singI don't have body hair like shag carpetingIt doesn't grow from my ears or cover my backWhen I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crackAnd what's on my head doesn't leave with my combI'll never buy a toupee to cover my domeOr have a few hairs pulled from over the sideI'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride!And I honestly think its a privilege for meto have these two boobs and squat when I peeI don't live to play golf and shoot basketballI don't swagger and spit like a NeanderthalI won't tell you my wife just does not understandstick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold bandor tell you a story to make you sigh and weepthen screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you seeyou can forget all about that old penis envyI don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicksjoin the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dickI'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's trueI'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Austen ! Austen who ? Austen-tentatiously well off !
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Bird Joke
Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ? Because he didn't have enough guts
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Book title Joke
The Post Script by Adeline Extra
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Stupid Blonde Joke
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
'For best results, put on two coats'.
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Funny Kids Joke
'Mom's cooking is improving. '
'How can you tell?'
'The smoke is less black. '
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Doctor Joke
A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it. Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out. Patient: I wanna second opinion. Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.
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Irish Joke
'Young man, ' said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. 'It's alcohol and alcohol alone that's responsible for your present sorry state!' 'I'm glad to hear you say that, ' replied Murphy, with a sigh of relief. 'Everybody else says it's all my fault!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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