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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of arcane funny games and other funny jokes |
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Very Silly Joke
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time. When she returned she told God, 'Yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good. 'Well, he thought for a moment and said 'Maybe I had better send down a male angel; to get both points of view. 'So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time. When the male angel returned he went to God and told him 'Yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good. 'God said this was not good. He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them a little, something to help them keep going. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Do you know what that E-mail said? * * * * * * * * * * * * Oh! You didn't get one either huh?
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on top of her.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What do Germans use for birth control?Their personalities!
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Religious Joke
Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A: A roamin' Catholic!
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Doctor Joke
A patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!
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Joke for Kids
A three year old walked over to the pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, ' why is your stomach so big?'She replied, 'Im having a baby. 'With big eyes, he asked, 'Is the baby in your stomach?'She said, 'He sure is. 'Then the little boy with a puzzled look asked, 'Is it a good baby?'She said, 'oh yes, its a real good baby. 'With even a more surprised and shocked look he said, 'Then why in the world did you eat him?'
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Police Joke
A farmer Who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. 'I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're supposed to have suffered?' Stated the counsel for the insurance company. 'Yes, That's right, ' replied the farmer, nodding his head. 'You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied, 'I've never felt better inn my life. ' Is that the case?' 'Yeah, but' stammered the farmer. 'A simple yes or not will suffice, ' counsel interrupted quickly. 'Yes, ' Replied the farmer. Then it was the turn of the farmer's counsel to ask him questions. 'Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when you made your statement of health, ' his lawyer said. 'Certainly, ' replied the farmer. 'After the accident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead. 'Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come straight over to me and asked me how I was feeling. 'Now, mate, what the heck would you have said to him?'
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Computer Joke
Ten ways to know that you're addicted to your computer:- 10) When you begin to laugh you yell, LOL. 9) You tell your computer you love it, more than you tell your spouse. 8) Your house catches on fire and you run home to save your computer before your family. 7) Your computer is your ONLY friend. 6) You think cyber sex is better than real sex. 5) You type only in short hand (YO ROFLMAO I'LL BRB B4 U RTFM LOL). 4) You type 40 words a minute with two fingers. 3) Your twins are named RAM & ROM. 2) After breaking from your computer, you realize you have gained 40lbs, have grown hair in unusual places, your spouse and kids have left you, and Windows 3. 1 is outdated. 1) YOU READ STUFF LIKE THIS!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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