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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of aqualung strange and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python You can't get round me just like that you know!
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Funny Famous Joke
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable whilethe other is just having a baby.
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Fun Joke
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at thebottom of the pool!
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Marriage Joke
A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. 'Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?' the lawyer asked. 'Give me the bad news first. ' 'Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars. ' 'That's the bad news?' the man asked incredulously. 'I can't wait to hear the terrible news. ' 'It's of you and your mistress. '
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Food and Drink Joke
Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why? Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one.
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Job and Office Joke
Thoughts and stories from on the jobMy boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, 'Is this what you get paid for ?' I told him, 'Nope ! I do this for free. ' This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read 'Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. ' I couldn't resist and added a note: 'And now you know why too'. Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, 'Yeah, how does this thing work ?' I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, 'Any questions ?' She said, 'Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?' People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah ??? When's the last time ya ever heard of anyone who 'rested to death'. Being punctual in our Office was of no benefit what-so-ever. There was never anybody around to appreciate it. Our Office was always on the cutting edge of technology. Not only did we have computers which spoke as well as listened; Hell, some of them even got ulcers. Did ya ever notice the people who complain the most about not having enough time to do all their work are the same ones who always stop & tell everyone that they don't have enuff time to do all their work.
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School Joke for Kids
Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth. A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces!The emperor says, 'That is very impressive!'Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces!The emperor says, 'That is really impressive!'Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Jewish samurai thinks, 'If it works for the other two. . . ' So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH!A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around. The emperor says in disappointment, 'Why is the fly not dead?'And the Jewish samurai replies - 'Look closer, that fly has been circumcised!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police let us in; it's cold out here.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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