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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of april fools day practical jokes and other funny jokes |
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Totally Weird Joke
A man swallowed a mouse while sleeping on the couch one day. His wife quickly called the doctor and said, 'Doctor, please come quickly. My husband just swallowed a mouse and he's gagging and thrashing about. ''I'll be right over, ' the doctor said. 'In the meantime, keep waving a piece of cheese over his mouth to try to attract the mouse up and out of there. 'When the doctor arrived, he saw the wife waving a piece of smoked herring over her husband's mouth. 'Uhh, I told you to use cheese, not herring, to lure the mouse. ''I know, doc, ' she replied, 'but first I've got to get the darn cat out of him!'
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Weather Joke
Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder
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Music Joke
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car? A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?Translator.
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Joke for Speeches
Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, 'Okay, you say ass' and I'll say hell''. All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast. 'Aw, hell, ' says the eight-year-old, 'gimme some Cheerios. 'His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. 'What'll you have?''I dunno, ' quavers the six-year-old, 'but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Cheerios. '
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Kids Puns
An Alaskan woman having car trouble pulls her Station Wagon into the local Exxon service station and has it looked over. The Chillyland mechanic from under the hood says: 'Ma'am it looks like you blew a seal. 'The Alaskan woman replies wiping her face: 'No, it's just Mayonaise. '
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Hunting Joke
A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly. The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc. Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear That's closest to them. 'No, not that one, ' shouts the surviving hunter, 'That's the female. ' 'The Czech is in the male. '
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Car and train Joke
Take the wheel, Harry! said the nervous lady driver. 'There's a tree coming straight for us!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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