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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of anti mccain jokes and other funny jokes |
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Spoof Joke
You just might be a Redneck if:You've ever tried to drown a fish. You can yell to your mom, 'Hey, Aunt Betty!' Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner. You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event. None of your shirts cover your stomach. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys. You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap. Your family tree does not fork. Your baby's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers. ' You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window. The fifth grade is referred to as ' your senior year. ' Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them. Your gene pool doesn't have a 'deep end. ' You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial. Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain. The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day. Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do. You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth. Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit. You let you kid pee in the parking lot at K-Mart.
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Travel Joke
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, 'Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?' The man gets really indignant and says, 'Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?'
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Dirty Joke
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, 'What are you lining up for, dear?' Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some. 'Mmm, sounds lovely, ' said Grandma. 'I think I'll have some myself, ' she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. 'But you're so old. . . how do you do it?' Grandma replied, 'Oh, it's quite easy, sonny. . . I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends?A shepherd.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Ammon ! Ammon who ? Ammon old hand at picking locks !
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Kids Joke
A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birdsand the bees. 'I don't want to know!' the child said, burstinginto tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me. 'Confused, the father asked what was wrong. 'Oh dad, ' the boy sobbed, 'when I was 6 I got the there's no Santa speech. At '7
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Don't Drink and Drive!
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Miscellaneous Joke
John receives a phone call. 'Hello, ' he answers. The voice on the other end says, 'This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago. ' John: 'hmmm. . . Susan? You say we met 3 months ago?' Susan: 'Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party gave me a ride home. On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport. ' John: 'Oh, yeah! Susan! How are have you been?' Susan: 'Well, I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself. ' John: 'Say, you really ARE a good sport!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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