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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of answering machine greetings and other funny jokes |
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Just for Laughs Joke
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:'The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. 'He continued, 'Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?'At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:'How much for a season pass?'
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Animal World
Have you ever smelled moth balls? - How did you get their little legs apart?
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Letter Joke
Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker. 'Hey, ' cried the foreman, 'what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?' 'Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend, ' explained Braxton, 'but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him. ' 'How come you got the cotton in your ears?' 'Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!'
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Life is too complicated in the morning.
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Space Joke
Two astronauts were in a space ship circling high above the earth. One had to go on a space walk while the other stayed inside. When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship, he discovered that the cabin door was locked, so he knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a voice from inside the space ship saying, 'Who's there?'
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Kids Puns
What are seniors worth anyway? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet. Well I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become quitea frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. I immediately go to see John. After that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint. Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!!P. S. The preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, 'Oh I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement, I ask myself. . . 'What am I here after?'
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Comedy Joke
There was once a guy whose tongue was so long that when he stuck it out for the doctor, the nurse went, 'Aaaaaahhh!!!'
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Relationships Joke
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully, ' the divorce courtjudge said, 'and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week. ''That's very fair, your honor, ' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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