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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of answering machine and other funny jokes |
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Joke of the Day
An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him. The man said, 'Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?'The bartender quickly replies -, 'The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street. '
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Silliest Joke
It was late one night and three guys just got done partying. So they needed to find a motel. So they find a super8 motel. They go in to the clerk and get one room because that was all that they could afford. They get to there room and there is only one bed so quickly one guy says, 'I get the bed. ' Then another guy says, 'I get the bathroom. ' Then the last guy says, 'I guess I get the closet. 'During the middle of the night the guy in the bed has to take a big ol shit. But he remembers the guy in the bathroom so he does his busness in the pillow case and throws it in the closet. In the morning he gets up and checks on the guy in the bathroom. They both had a great night sleep. So they go and see their friend in the closet. When they asked how his night was he said, 'It was pretty good up until a white ghost jumped in and I kicked the shit out of it.
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Humorous Joke
They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by love and her looks are out of sight !
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Bible Joke
A minister was asked by a politician, 'Name something the government can do to help the church. ' The minister replied, 'Quit making one dollar bills. '
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Do they ever shut up on your planet.
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Pig Joke
How do you get your pigs to sleep at night? No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Anna ! Anna who ? Annather brick in the wall !
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Relationships Joke
A girl runs home to her mother crying, 'I can't marry Joe! He's an atheist! He doesn't believe in God or Jesus or anything! 'Don't worry, Honey, ' said her mom. 'But Mom, he doesn't even believe in Hell! 'Don't worry, Honey, ' repeated her mom, 'you marry him. . . and we'll convince him!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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