|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of animated christmas jokes and other funny jokes |
|
Camping Joke
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. 'You aren't going to catch many fish that way, ' said the businessman to the fisherman, 'you should be working rather than lying on the beach!' The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, 'And what will my reward be?' 'Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!' was the businessman's answer. 'And then what will my reward be?' asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, 'You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!' 'And then what will my reward be?' asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. 'You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!' he said. 'And then what will my reward be?' repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. 'Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!' Once again the fisherman asked, 'And then what will my reward be?' The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, 'Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in the world!' The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, 'And what do you think I'm doing right now?'
= = = = = = = = = =
Firefighter Joke
Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
= = = = = = = = = =
Love and Marriage Joke
Dear ________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition. Check those that apply. . . ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion. ___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!___Your inadvertent admission that you 'buy condoms by thetruckload' indicates that you may be interested in me for something otherthan my personality. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i. e. , I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself. ___Your constant emailing shows me you have TOO much time onyour hands!___Your legs are skinnier than mine. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying tokiss you. ___You have a hairy back. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals aninherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable. ___The phrase 'My Mother' has popped up far too often in conversation. ___You still live with your parents. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of StarTrekuniforms a little disconcerting. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I amseeking in a long term partner. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application. ___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip. ___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time. Sincerely, ___________
= = = = = = = = = =
Clinton Joke
Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school? A: If they sent her to a public school, the secret service would be out-gunned!
= = = = = = = = = =
Movie and TV Joke
A bit-part actor finally got his first leading role in a major film. In one scene the actor had to jump off a high diving board in to a swimming pool. He climed to the top of the board, looked down and promptly climbed down again. `What's the matter?' asked the director. `I can't jump from that board!' said the actor. `Do you know there's only one foot of water in that pool?' 'Yes, ' said the director. `We don't want you to drown, you know. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Village Idiot Joke
Knock Knock! Who's There? Dwayne. Dwayne Who? Dwayne The Bathtub and I'm Dwowning!
= = = = = = = = = =
Situation Joke
There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer. Up walks a so called 'lady of the night'. Shesays, 'For $300. '00
= = = = = = = = = =
Car and train Joke
What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? 'Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke. '
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
