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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of animals doing funny things and other funny jokes |
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Religion Joke
Is there a God?A billion Hindus can't be wrong.
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Telephone Joke
How does a baritone make phone calls? Song distance!
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Joke for Speeches
What does a short sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?They both have wet noses!
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Kids Puns
GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one. . . I got real snippy. 2. I heard you had herpes. . . and I feel terrible. . . I'd say 'Get well soon'. . . but I know it's incurable. 3. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire. . . . I found your cat. . . Sorry!4. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends. . . . here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. 5. You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 6. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. . . look at the bright side, she's a really good lay. 7. Heard your wife left you. . . How upset you must be. . . Don't fret about your wife though. . . She's moving in with me. 8. Your computer is dead. . . and it was so alive. . . you shouldn't have installed. . . Win'95. 9. You totalled your car. . . and can't remember why. . . maybe it was. . . that case of Bud Dry10. So you lost your job. . . It's one of those hardships in life. . . Next time, work harder. . . and stay away from the boss's wife.
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School Joke
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, 'Why do we have to learn this pointless information'
'To save lives. ' the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. 'So how does physics save lives?' he persisted.
'It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school,' replied the professor.
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Funny Famous Joke
Did you hear about the heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked. One day, he was reading the Washington Post when he noticed a small ad which read:Lose weightOnly $1. 00 a poundCall (202) 208-0238The man decided to give it a try and called the number. A voice on the other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?
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Vampire Joke
What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic? Wait for him to give it back.
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Joke for Kids
Q: What happens when a paranoid has low self-esteem?A: He thinks that nobody important is out to get him.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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