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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of amusing video clips and other funny jokes |
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Relationships Joke
A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed:'Come and bury my wife. ''But I buried your wife ten years ago, ' replied the undertaker. 'I got married again, ' the man sobbed. 'Oh, ' said the undertaker. 'Congratulations. '
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Bird Joke
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. If he shook the bird, the bird got madder and ruder. Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: 'I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions, so I ask for your forgiven ess. I will try to correct my behavior. ' David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had changed him when the parrot continued: 'May I ask what the chicken did?'
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Women Joke
What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet, telephone, telawoman.
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Law Enforcement Joke
The 4 Basic Food Groups for Police Officers1. Glazed2. Jelly3. Powdered4. Chocolate Frosted
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Farmer Joke
Q: When is a farmer like a magician? A: When he turns his cow to pasture.
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School Joke
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? 'Why does it work?'What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? 'How does it work?'What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? 'How much will it cost?'What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? 'Do you want fries with that?'
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Romance Joke
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, 'My husband suffers from premature ejaculation. 'The counselor turns to her husband and inquires 'Is that true?' The husband replies 'Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me. '
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Computers Joke
The Numbers of the Beast OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast. But did you know that:660 - Approximate number of the BeastDCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast666. 0000 - Number of the High Precision Beast0. 666 - Number of the Millibeast/ 666 - Beast Common Denominator666 ^ (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast1010011010 - Binary of the Beast'6
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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