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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of all the fun of the fair and other funny jokes |
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Aviation Joke
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up. Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary. 'Tell me, ' she said suspiciously, 'what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?' The actuary looked through his tables and said, 'A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand. ' She nodded, then thought for a moment. 'So what are the o dds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?' Again he went through his tables. 'Extremely remote, ' he said. 'About one in a billion. ' Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office. And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb with her.
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Funny Kids Joke
'Doctor, doctor, my left leg is giving me a lot of pain. '
'I expect it is just old age. '
'So why is my right leg not sore? It is the same age!'
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Comedy Joke
This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, 'Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be hell of a party. 'The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, 'This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it. 'The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, 'What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?'The guy replies, 'Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a pain muscle reliever). The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, 'Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive. 'The guy says, 'It's not for my penis, it's for my arm. 'Pharmacist says, 'What?? What happened?'Guy replies, 'Well. . . I drank the whole bottle of your potion. 'Pharmacist says, 'And. . . 'Guy replies, 'The girls never showed up!'
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College Humor
Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?So men can understand them.
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Business Joke
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS. ' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES. ' The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read 'MAIN ENTRANCE'.
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Redneck Joke
Whats worse than shit on Olivia Newton Johns face?Cum on Eileen.
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Mother Joke
Q: What is the most common disease transmitted by Jewish Mothers?
A: Guilt
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Cow Joke
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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