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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of all garden fun and other funny jokes |
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Political Joke
Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life? A: Grade six.
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Horse Joke
A young jockey and his stable lass girlfriend make the decision to get married. Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon in Italy for a week. The marriage goes without a hitch and the couple set off on their honeymoon. While checking in the lady behind the desk asks 'We have two suites available for you, would you like the bridal?' 'No thanks says the jockey I'll just hold her ears till she gets the hang of it!'
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Humorous Joke
What runs all day but never gets tired? Water.
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Heaven and hell Joke
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says 'I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter. ' Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man. God got mad and said. 'You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!' Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line? The man said, 'I don't know. My wife told me to stand here. '
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Stand Up Joke
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, 'I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it. 'After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, 'Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!'The young man waited a moment and replied, 'You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair. . . . 'To which his father replied. . . 'Yes, you're right. . . and they also WALKED every where they went!'
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Naughty Joke
A guy's fingering his girlfriend. She says, 'Would you take off your ring? It's hurting me. 'He says, 'That's not my ring. . . It's my wristwatch. '
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Monster Joke
What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea? Lots of very worried dogs.
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School Joke
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
'Because I'm not an atheist. '
Then, asks the teacher, 'What are you?'
'I'm a Christian. '
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.
'Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian. '
The teacher is now angry. 'That's no reason,' she says loudly.
'What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?'
She paused, and smiled. 'Then,' says Lucy, 'I'd be an atheist
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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