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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of adult txt jokes and other funny jokes |
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Best Joke Online
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, 'Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these. 'The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. 'I'll give you a hint, ' said the teacher. 'It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time. 'Instantly, one of the kids coughed his onto the floor and shouted, 'Spit 'em out, they're assholes!'
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Children Joke
A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, 'oh miss, oh miss!' with his arm pumping. 'Yes, Johnny, what is it?' she asked, trying to remain calm. Little Johnny stood up and proclaimed to the class, 'at our house, we have everything. ''Don't be silly, ' the teacher replied, 'not even the richest man has everything. ''We do, ' he answered, 'My daddy said so the other day. ''Now, why would your father say such a thing?' she asked. 'Well, my fifteen year old sister came home with her skinhead boyfriend, and told poppa she was pregnant. That's when my dad said 'God, that's all we needed. '
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Political Joke
Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal Who's been mugged.
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Time Joke
That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.
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Children Joke
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, 'What's theproblem, Carol? I hope it's not homework again. ''Well, uh, yes, it is. ' replied Carol. 'I was stupid and made myhomework paper into a paper airplane. ''Carol, you're right, that wasn't a very bright thing to do, ' said theteacher, 'but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand itin. ''Oh, but that won't work, ' said Carol, looking even sadder. 'You see, the plane was hijacked. '
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Joke of the Day
The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, 'Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!' 'Oh no, sir, I sure haven't, ' replied the bartender. The boss replied, 'Good, in that case then, YOU fire her!'
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Mad Joke
How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail? Envelopes in the disk drive.
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Weather Joke
If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and can't see the clock tower of the Central Railway Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that means it is about to rain.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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