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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of adult text message jokes and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
The patient: Tell me, is it true that alcohol decreases blood pressure? Doctor: Yes, that is true. P: And, is it true that coffee increases blood pressure? D: Yes, that is also true. P: So, in average, I live normally.
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Business Joke
Economic computer virusesINTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3. 5 percent margin of POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until next election. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine. MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened. MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in 'self-defense. ' CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION ECONOMIST VIRUS - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and sending messages about how the economy is going to get better. SUPPLY SIDE ECONOMIST VIRUS - Puts your computer to sleep for four years. When your computer wakes up, you're trillion more dollars in debt. NEW ECONOMY VIRUS - Also known as the 'Tricky Dick Virus. ' You can wipe it out, but it always makes a comeback. ENVIRONMENTAL ECONOMIST VIRUS - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first asks you if you've considered the alternatives
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Blonde Joke - 2
There's a brunette standing in the middle of a street jumping up and down, counting ''57
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Situations Humor
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin' and dealin' they settled for $10000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, 'Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!' 'So?' asked the ducks former owner, 'did you remember to light the candle under the pot?'
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Funny College Joke
When a woman gets married, she wants the 3 S's: sensitivity, sincerity, and sharing. What does she get?The 3 B's: burps, body odor, and beer breath.
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School Joke
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
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Cow Joke
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
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Doctor and nurse Joke
What's the difference between a nurse and a nun? A nun only serves one God.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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