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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of adult holiday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Law Joke
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
“It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us. ”
The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers–we had $100 when we broke in!”
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Naughty Joke
A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best. He Replied, ' Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them. '
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School Joke
Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river? Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!
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Politics Humor
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. SuddenlyClinton grabs Hillary by thecollar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunnedumpire shouted, 'No, Mr. President!I said, Throw the first PITCH!'
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Sport Joke
A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. 'I can't find any green golf balls, ' the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls. As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, 'Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?' 'Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!'
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Monster Joke
What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes? You can't mash Frankenstein.
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Stand Up Joke
Why do women play with their hair at traffic lights?Because they don't have any balls to scratch. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
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Business Joke
American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time. The Mexican fisherman said, 'I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor. ' The American scoffed, 'I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fis hing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. 'You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise. ' The Mexican fisherman asked, 'But senor, how long will this all take?' To which the American replied, '15-20 years. ' 'But what then, senor?' asked the Mexican. The American laughed, and said, 'That's the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!' 'Millions, senor?' replied t he Mexican. 'Then what?' The American said, 'Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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