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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of adult cell phone jokes and other funny jokes |
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Cow Joke
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf
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Religious Joke
The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the boat. The next day at the university, a colleague asked the philosopher if he had enjoyed fishing with the Pope. 'It was okay, but would you believe that guy can't swim?'
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Bird Joke
What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish ? Tweetie Pie !
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Cop Joke
Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? Policeman: It was a moving violation.
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Law Joke
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, 'You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out. '
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish.
Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
'What did he say?' asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, 'He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me!''
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, 'DING!'
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Totally Weird Joke
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, 'Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?'--------------------------------------A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?' One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping!'--------------------------------------A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages. 'Momma, look what I found, ' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, 'It's Adam's suit!!'
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Office Humor
Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog. When asked why by her former employer, she answered, 'I never forget a friend. This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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