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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 911 is a joke video and other funny jokes |
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Horse Joke
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks 'Which way do I go?' But when the horse I bet on is at the Tote window betting on another horse in the same race. . .
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Bar Joke - 2
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said 'lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!' Don't worry, Bubba', Earl said. 'We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat'. 'What fer?', asked Bubba. 'Just let me do the talkin
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Computing Joke
Log on - Adding a log to your wood stoveLog off - Don't add a log to your wood stoveMonitor - Keep an eye on the wood stoveMegahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morningFloppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stoveRam - The hydraulic machine that makes the woodsplitter workDrive - Getting home during most of the winter to your wood stoveHard drive - Trying to get home during a heavy snow stormPrompt - What you wish the mail was during the snow seasonEnter - Come on inWindows - What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 belowScreen - What is a must during black fly seasonChip - What you munch during a football gamesMicrochip - What's left in the bag when the normal chips are goneModem - What you did to your fields last JulyDot Matrix - Eino Matrix's wifeLaptop - Where the grandkids sitKeyboard - Where you're supposed to put the keys so the wife can find themSoftware - Plastic picnic utensilsMouse - What leaves those little turds in the cupboardMainframe - The part of the house that holds up the roofPort - Where the commercial fishing boats dockRandom Access Memory - When you can't remember how much you spent on the new deer rifle when wife asks about it
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Vampire Joke
Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business.
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Car and train Joke
On Fred's 17th birthday, his Dad said he'd take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car, the father said, 'Just one thing, Fred. If you're going to hit anything, make sure it's cheap. '
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Strange Humor
Questions: 1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? 2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? 3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? 4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I? 5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? 6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I? 7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? 8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? 9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I? 10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I? Answers: 1. a dentist 2. a wedding ring 3. peanut butter 4. chewing gum 5. an elevator 6. a nose 7. a newspaper boy 8. a glove 9. a crane 10. a toothbrush, of course! Now Really! Just what were you thinking?
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Christmas Joke - 1
I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film! Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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