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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 60th birthday humour and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Halloween
29 Members of Congress have been accused of spousal abuse. 7 Have been arrested for fraud. 19 Have been accused of writing bad checks. 117 Have bankrupted at least two businesses. 3 Have been arrested for assault. 71 Have credit reports so bad they can't qualify for a credit card. 14 Have been arrested on drug related charges. 8 Have been arrested for shoplifting, 21 Are current defendants in lawsuits. 84 Were stopped for drunk driving in 1998 alone, but released after they claimed Congressional immunity
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Accountant Joke
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? 'What kind of answer did you have in mind?' Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget.
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Stupid Blonde Joke
One blonde to another. . . Have you ever read Shakespeare?No. Who wrote it?
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Strange Humor
Q: What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs?A: Hey. . . Nice Tits!!!
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Jess.
Jess who?
Jess me and my shadow
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Job and Office Joke
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named 'T-Square', and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog was better. His dog was named 'Slide Rule'. He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was good, but he felt his dog was better. His dog 'Measure' was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem. All three men agreed this was very good and that their dogs were equally smart. They all turned to the union member and said, 'What can your dog do?'. The Teamster called his dog whose name was 'Coffee Break' and said, 'Show the fellows what you can do'. Coffee Break went over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, went to the bathroom on the paper, claimed he injured his back while eating, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, applied for Workmen's Compensation and left for home on sick leave.
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Pig Joke
What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head? Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine?
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Joke for Kids
A Polak is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, 'Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggrevation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day. 'So the Polak takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. 'How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?', the Polak asks himself. 'I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day', the Polak tells himself. So, the next morning the Polak gets up at 4 in the morning and cuts, and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and he only manages to cut five cords. The Polak is convinced this is a bad saw. 'The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer', the Polak says to himself. The very next day the Polak brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the Polak's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, 'Huh, it looks fine. 'Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the Polak responds, 'What's that noise?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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