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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 60 year old birthday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Fishing Joke
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !
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Easy to Remember Joke
An old man is lying on his deathbed with all his children, grandchildren and his older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man in is a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours. Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes and croaks: 'I must be dreaming of heaven. I smell your grandmother's strudel. ' 'No, grandfather, you are not dreaming. Grandmother is baking strudel now. ' 'I know I will never have another taste of her delicious strudel after this one. Could you please go down and get me a sliver?' the old man begs with what is left of his final breath. One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old man's last request. After a long time, he returns empty-handed. 'Did you bring me one last piece of your grandmother's delicious strudel?' the old man plaintively queries?'I'm very sorry, grandfather, she says you can't have any, it's for the funeral!'
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Ethnic Humor
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response: 'Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll giveyou two dollars. Everybody wins. '
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Car and train Joke
Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on 'America's Most Wanted. '
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Political Joke
Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
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School Joke
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: 'If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home. '
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Joke for Speeches
Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. Iam tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. Ithink the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people'2
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Doctor Joke
Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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