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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 60 birthday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Children Joke
It's the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class, 'If anyone has to go to the bathroom, you should hold up two fingers. 'After a moment of quiet thought, Little Johnny asked: 'How will that help?'
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Travel Humor
Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long andthen, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired. Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says 'Watson, do yousee the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can youdeduce from it?'Watson yawns and tries to play the game. 'Well, this clearly tells us theweather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny. ''No, my friend. It's much simpler than that. Someone has stolen our tent. '
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Travel and tourist Joke
The tourist: 'Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?'
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Law and Lawyer Joke
Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night. He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle. Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno. When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, 'Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place. '
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner? Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.
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Funny College Joke
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU PICKED THE WRONG INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER1. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length of string. 2. You check out their address, and it's a phone booth containing a Compaq portable and an acoustic coupler. 3. Their chief technical officer lives in a 10-foot-by-7-foot shack in the woods. 4. Their proud boast: 'We've been on the Internet since it was CB radio. '5. Their promo materials use the words 'information' and 'superhighway' in the same sentence. 6. You order an SLIP/PPP connection, email, and 2MB of server space for your personal Web site, and the voice on the other end of the phone asks 'Would you like fries with that?'7. 'As seen in Better Business Bureau special reports. '8. 'Access speeds up to '9
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Funny Famous Joke
With the hunchback still dead, and his no-armed replacement still dead, the church leader still needs a bell ringer. He posts a sign outside the church and another no-armed man shows up to take the job. The frustrated church leader says, 'The last no-armed guy died trying to ring this bell, what makes you think you can do it?' The no-armed man says, 'I've been without my arms since birth and therefore have much more experience. Besides, I desperately need the job to feed my family. 'The church leader, feeling sorry for the man, says, 'OK give it a try. 'And, as expected, the no-armed man tries to pull the rope with his teeth, stumbles and falls to his death. The church leader rushes down to the sidewalk just as a policeman arrives. The policeman says, 'OK, this is two deaths in two days. Does anybody know who this guy is?'The church leader says, 'I'm sorry, I didn't ask, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was in here yesterday!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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